growing up, i was always the in-betweener: not popular, but not completely friendless either. over time, obviously, my voice has died down to nothing but a bare whisper leaving me exposed and vulnerable to the rest of the world. teachers ask me to speak up because i'm far too quiet but not too long ago they had to tell me to be quiet because i was far too loud. i wasn't bullied by a person per say, but my own mind. i was called ugly my entire life and people would consistently talk about me behind my back but i shouldn't complain because people have had it worse right? they have to deal with worse, right?
no.
bullying is bullying and it affects everyone in the same way. we all felt hurt.
i wrote something not too long ago and i will probably attach a video that will most likely bring you to tears (or i hope) because then you'll get it. you'll understand through the power of words the hurt victims feel.
calling someone a simple name can bring them spiraling down into a hole with no sense of happiness. think before you speak because you could be someone's breaking point.
no one can psychologically explain bullies, but in my opinion they're not the way they are just for fun. no, they're hurting too and they're taking their hurt out on other people because their mentality is "why should anyone else be happy when i'm not?"
being a firsthand victim of bullying, i understand what its like to feel that hurt and somehow i conjured up a piece that put my hurt into words but it also brought out a strength that i never knew i had.
we go to school in hopes that we might not be called another name.
maybe just for a day we may remain invisible to the predators that see us as their prey.
"you're a freak,"
they tell us.
"you don't belong,"
they taunt.
it's a constant battle within yourself trying to prove that you're not a freak. that you do belong.
we are sent to school by our parents thinking it's safe, that we won't experience the cruelty of the world in a place that they deem is safe.
they're wrong.
the cruelty of the world exists in the safest of places because it is not the school but the students that ridicule all those that are different.
we see and we hear the sounds of bullying, yet most of us stand and others join because it seems "cool."
it's not.
i was called ugly for the first time in second grade and overtime the obscenities spoken to me have an increased by rank.
"you're a slut,"
they tell me but they don't acknowledge the fact that i have not once had a boyfriend.
we sit in the back of classes, zippers as our mouths but the minute we step in the hallways it's a battlefield waiting for the first to come out alive.
no one ever does.
they think that meaningless words like whore and asshole can't take away lives.
they don't understand that the power of their words cut like knives.
overtime we lose all our sanity and our hearts of gold,
because we are the victims.
we are blamed when shootings occur,
or when lives are taken.
but who is really to blame?
we struggle on a daily basis to remain calm and not to break,
but all we are consumed with is emotional heartache.
they think that they can break us,
but they can't,
because why are we still here?
why are we still here? - tarjani mehta
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